Emo

It has been a while since I last updated.
After reading a frend's blog, i somehow feel the same with her especially when she talks about friendship, work and socialise. I copied her well written sentence and modified them into my situation now.

#
每个月都会有那么几天感觉低落 就像每个月都会来大姨妈一样准 
最近，我感觉很挫败于学术 这个学期我才考一门却拿了个 D 
我很挫败于交际 看到大家自如活络的游走于人群中谈笑风声 
我很挫败于友谊 我真诚低姿态的对待每个熟悉和陌生人 却还是一直分不清什么是逢场作戏和真性情 
我很挫败于工作我莫名其妙被说了一顿 我不气 只是觉得有些委屈 毕竟工作得来不易 我珍惜我努力我付出 却连个解释的机会/勇气也没有 我很挫败 #
I am in a dilemma now. I dont know which pathway i should take anymore.
Im not that determined to stay at here anymore.
I have lost my motivation.
I somehow wish that someone can give me pressure on my decision.
At least im not alone. I hate making decision.

Skin is still deterioating. i feel embarrassed to go out with my naked face or even with make up on.
what can i do ?

Holiday

Exam is finally over ! 
but its sad that im not going back to my hometown for this holiday.
tho Im still looking for the air ticket like once every 2 days.
So tempting to go back =(
I miss my 3F - family, friends, food in Malaysia so much.
my exam ended super early this time. 
which means... Im gonna have around 2 months holiday- longest mid sem holiday i ever had.
Isnt this a long holiday?
this is my first time for not going back to malaysia during proper holidays throughout this 6 years in melbourne.
Can you imagine? im gonna be alone here while others are heading back eg. cousin and friends.
what a sad case.
but i believe ill have to accept the truth and think positively.
I stay for the goodness, for my future, and for my intern.
but sadly i havent gotten any contact from anyone regarding my intern application.
how sad is it??sigh
dear lord, pls be kind and generous to me ><
I hate having the feelings of uncertainties.

I have been spending quite a lot recently after exam!
for food, clothes .... hopefully i get more shifts during this holiday.
i wanna get myself a prada bag.
i cant stop thinking about it. it comes across my mind automatically everyday and I came up with a conclusion,
i want it, i NEED IT.
it would be even harder for me to get one when i begin work in malaysia or sg wouldnt it?
so this is the chance... so just wait and ill come and hunt you down little prada!

Worst placement i had

BAck to the city finally. Maybe i shouldnt have come back to the city.
cuz 2 weeks worth of salary has turned  into this and maybe that ... lol
disliked my rural placement because i felt like I was just a free labour instead of a learning pharmacist student.
i wrote the barcode for 200 of earplugs, and alcohol swabs, cleaned the bin, walking to another pharmacy to get stock everyday. 
Isnt this a PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE PLACEMENT???
It AINT A SHOP GIRL PLACEMENT! 

well Im actually fine with all those work you are keen and willing to teach me.
but those were the ONLY stuffs that I did during the whole placement.
it really sucked.
I wanted to observe counseling of pharmacist and you asked me to serve another customer. 
I really think the people at the placement need to get their facts right.
I was there to learn as a student not to work as your free labour. 


The grade for my punctuality is a mere "Pass".
I dunno what else can be done to get a better result than "pass" since I arrived 10-15 mins for the placement everyday already.

And after all the things Ive done for you Ive never been thanked before.
seriously this is the worst placement i have ever had. 
it will truly suck if anyone is to work in a place like that one.

280412

my blog has been abandoned for a while.
not really that busy compared to last year but still i dunnoe where i spent my time on =.=
have to accept the truth that i might not be able to go back in june/july,
exam timetable is out. i would have more than 1 month holiday but too bad
i cant go back.
even if i can make it its only gonna be a 10days stay....
or i would try to go back in sep for 10 days as well. sad ttm.
i want to claim my camera ><

Going to my rural placement - Gipsland tmr.
i havent finished packing yet.
There are too many things to bring along eg. bedsheet, pillow cover or blanket.
just in case the ones there are not clean/comfortable to me ... 
not being fussy but... u know...


I'll be working in Priceline pharmacy.
hopefully the pharmacist that look after me can be very patient to me...><

150412

Good times always pass fast.

1 week of Easter break has just gone like wind ><

i broke my early sleep-wake cycle.

but i guess i will return to this cycle soon as im going to have another placement in the end of april.

hopefully i got a community one in this rural placement and the most important thing is

the accommodation and internet would not be dodgy.